Friend Tim shakes hands with Perfect Specimen of Mankind. Will never wash right hand again.
I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it. . . so I just added "ish" to every number.
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude. ' 'Dude, these are isotopes. ' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine. ' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies. '
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left. '
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
Laundry, liturgy and women's work all serve to ground us in the world, and they need not grind us down. Our daily tasks, whether we perceive them as drudgery or essential, life-supporting work, do not define who we are as women or as human beings.
Carlsen came with a line that was not very theoretical, trying to challenge the World Champion to play chess. [. . . ] But Anand proved that even this obscure line is something he has studied before, and it was Carlsen that was set back.
No matter how sorted you think you are, you will always be surrounded by people who are lost and angry. They will test you time and time again.
Remember, once more how our world should be. And please, don't forget, please, please don't forget.