The word "superstar" is an ilusion
Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.
And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
Liverpool has always made me brave, choice-wise. It was never a city that criticised anyone for taking a chance.
People are always looking for the single magic bullet that will totally change everything. There is no single magic bullet.
I'm a walking record.
My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When I talked to Kelly [George Carlin's daughter] about it, she said that George Carlin once took her at about 12 years old and said, "I've figured it out. " And he says it in one of his specials sort of - he goes, "We're all energy and we're all connected. That goldfish you have, you, me, that boot laying in the street, we're all pieces of light to a giant electron.