Christopher Julius Rock III (born February 7, 1965) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director.
I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.
Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.
I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus. . . and I can plate and set the table.
Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.
I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.
When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going to the mall. ' It's all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest - it's all good.
A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.
I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'
I do what I can do when I can do it.
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets.
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.
People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.
Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.
My mother always says: "You know better, so you'll be punished. Your friends don't know better, so they won't be punished. They can go snatch chains and they'll be fine. But if you snatch chains, you'll end up in jail because you know better. "
I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both.
It's hard for a man to turn down sex. . . if they chase us, we can't run that fast.
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them.