I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.
If nothing is delightful without love and jokes, then live in love and jokes.
I really get a little bit confused by all this "angry angry angry" talk when all I do is tell jokes and at least some people find it funny.
Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.
If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned.
Garry Shandling is someone I've publicly gone gay for, for jokes. Oh and anyone in the Twilight movies. I don't know any of their names, but all of them. The wolves, the vampires? They're all fantastic.
When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.
Most of my comedy is accidental, I would say. If I don't know what the joke is, I'm going to play it better than if I do.
I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day.
We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.
Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.
There were many times when I kept silent about being Jewish as I got older, when Jewish jokes were told.
People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.
The future of this nation, with the present generation, You must admit is nothing but a joke
I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling. "
There have always been jokes all over our songs; I originally started writing lyrics to make my friends crack a smile, which is difficult.
I want my tombstone to read: If this is a joke, I don't get it.
Women are often pushed into the idea that they write softer, more character-driven jokes.
Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong.