I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into … - David Letterman

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All the conservation efforts in the world won't be enough to make a dent in the oncoming sustainability crisis our planet faces.

David Letterman

I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.

Iphone, Phones, Talk, Wall

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Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking. "

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George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.

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People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

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I mean you think about the guy, the Nigerian guy, who was going to blow up the plane. He was wearing a pair of Fruit of the Lunatic. . . . Guy was not too bright. He said that the reason he became a suicide bomber was to work his way up in the al Qaeda organization.

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There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

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