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The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.

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Doug Benson

Being on TV and getting everything paid for are the two reasons to do it with us instead of the court of law.

Court, Instead, Law, Paid, Tvs, Two
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I enjoy Modern Family very much. Good TV program. I don't know why. I just find that so many of the jokes land. So many of the actors are so great. Phil Dunphy is one of my favorite characters ever.

Character, Dunphy, Favorite, Good, Land, Modern Family

I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite. ' And I was like, 'That is good to know doggy, but that's not the most important thing about you. You should make a sign that says, 'I make signs. ''

Bite, Dog, Important, Like, Saws, Signs

Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with herself?

Car, Grandma, Look, Smell, Smoke

Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some cases more so. But most that appear, it's more about friendship with me than making some statement about pot. I'm sure those of my friends who are onscreen smoking might have a little regret, but there's not too much of it.

Friends, Littles, Making, Regret, Smoking

Pot advocates actually try to convince people who don't need or want medical marijuana to go get a card, because as those numbers go up, it's like voting for an initiative. It's saying "There are this many people who want to use this who are not getting in trouble, who are not turning around and selling it or giving it to minors. " No matter what they have - cancer, HIV, depression - anybody who says they feel better after smoking marijuana, I feel they should be able to do so, especially if it's in the privacy of their own home.

Cancer, Feel Better, Home, Medical, People
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