I know now that true charity consists in bearing all our neighbors'defects--not being surprised at their weakness, but edified at their smallest virtues.
I think they named the orange before the carrot.
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude. ' 'Dude, these are isotopes. ' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine. ' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies. '
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
I wish I lived next to Carnegie Hall. Then, if someone asked me how to get to my house, I would just say 'Practice, practice, practice, and then take a left. '
Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.
You try to play the song better than you had before.
However useful may be the National Parks and Forests of the West for those affording the Pullman fare to reach them, what is needed by the bulk of the American population is something nearer home.
God loves the noise as much as the signal.
I always look at a girls shoes. And if they’re wearing heels, i wonder how she would look if she was just wearing those.