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We see in the 20th Century an unfortunate trench warfare, in which psychoanalysis, in a struggle against the internalized compulsion and superstition of a particular doctrine, has expressed itself atheistically. By contrast, theology is not merely under suspicion of talking soullessly about God. Both theology and psychology, in striving for human health, need one another like the right and the left hand.

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Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.

Shoulda, Son, Stupid, Wall
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

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We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

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You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

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My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

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