A bore or an uggo might manage not to get up anyone's nose, but if a girl's got brains and looks and personality, she's going to piss someone off, somewhere along the way.
I'll tell you what can make bacon better. . . nothing.
A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.
My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.
I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody can have one, OK? I could have had three if I had gone through with any of my pregnancies.
Having a [teenage] daughter is like riding a young horse over an unknown steeplechase course. You don't know when to pull up the reins, when to let the horse have its head - or what.
Mind is a kingdom to the man who gathereth his pleasure from ideas.
Actor is just a strange profession, it really is, that you could be in front of the same people for years, and all of a sudden one thing happens, and it finally clicks.
If your hair is done properly you can get away with anything