Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me. " On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.
When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"
I've never been healthier. I haven't had a cigarette in two years. I run four or five miles, four or five times a week. I've been healthy and having a really good time.
The market is in the process of correcting itself.
I'd rather have that dialogue right now than only the other one, which is starting at such a basic level, that we start rearranging stuff on the Titanic, trying to be less bad with ordinary stuff.
Nothing overshadows truth so much as authority.