I used to dress up as a model for Halloween, like every year.
I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be.
I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel.
When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track. In my mind I'm thinking, 'Great, now I'm being beaten with my own toys. . . ' Thank God I didn't get that wood burning set I wanted.
The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.
I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights. " So I took a couple.
We take nothing to the grave with us, but a good or evil conscience. . . It is true, terrors of conscience cast us down; and yet without terrors of conscience we cannot be raised up again.
The only thing that is pathetic. . . is you.
It's sad, but a relief as well, to know that two things so closely bound together can separate with so little violence.
It's a very strange league, the Championship, because on any given match day, any team can beat any other team.