I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel. - Scott Wood - Quotesmemo.com

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In Fleet Street, in Fleet Street, the People are so fleetThey barely touch the cobble-stones with their nimble feet!

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Scott Wood

I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang my head on the steering wheel.

Bang, Bangs, Hate, Morning, Waking, Wheel

Same Author Quotes

When it came to spankings, my dad never used a belt. One time he grabbed a piece of my Hot Wheels race car track. In my mind I'm thinking, 'Great, now I'm being beaten with my own toys. . . ' Thank God I didn't get that wood burning set I wanted.

Dad, Mind, Race, Spankings, Thinking

I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's everywhere I want to be.

Cards, Recently, Right, Stolen, Want

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

Cat, Dog, Funny, Right, Shot, Works

I joined a health spa recently. They had a sign for "Free Weights. " So I took a couple.

Couple, Dieting, Exercise, Health, Recently, Weights

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Eleanor Farjeon

Eleanor Farjeon

In Fleet Street, in Fleet Street, the People are so fleetThey barely touch the cobble-stones with their nimble feet!

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Aristotle

Aristotle

"I was not alone when I was in Goofy hell"

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Douglas Adams

Douglas Adams

But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi.

Continuity, Flash, Girl, Rain, Relentlessly, Weather

Chad Harbach

Chad Harbach

There are no whys in a person's life, and very few hows. In the end, in search of useful wisdom, you could only come back to the most hackneyed concepts, like kindness, forbearance, infinite patience. Solomon and Lincoln: This too shall pass. Damn right it will. Or Chekhov: Nothing passes. Equally true.

Kindness, Infinite, Chekhov, Right, Come

June Jordan

June Jordan

. . . if your heart and your honest body can be controlled by the state, or controlled by community taboo, are you not then, and in that case, no more than a slave ruled by outside force? What tyranny could exceed a tyranny that dictates to the human heart, and that attempts to dictate the public career of an honest human body?

Attempts, Careers, Community, Exceed, Heart, Honest