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For the record, pot, like the Reader's Digest , is not necessarily habit-forming, but both can lead to hard-core addiction : heroin, in one case, abridged bad books, in the other. Either way you look at it, a withdrawal from a meaningful life.

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Dave Barry

I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.

Color, Emotional, Hardships, Longer, Maturity, Shoes
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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Ark, Education, Lone, Professionals, Trying

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.

Couple, Glass, Humorous, Question, Saw, Teacher

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

120, Animal, Cow, Fastest, Mph, Science

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Actual, Children, Inspirational, Parent, Perfect, Perfect Parents

Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

Brain, Chocolate, Hands, Mouth, Years, Yummy
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