They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that … - Ian Shoales

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I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.

Ian Shoales

They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

Ethics, Guide, Keep, Labyrinth, Legal, Legal System

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Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

Bodies, Football, Funny, Player, Prostitutes, Strangers

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn.

Bacall, Bogart, Jackie, John, Juliet, Love

I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French.

Like, People, Places, Speak, Speaks French

Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.

Amadeus, Jerk, Mozart, Play, Told

Advice to rock gods: drugwise, stick to Ibuprofen, decaf lattes, and pale Pilsners. . . If your stomach is not a flat slab, please leave your shirt on while performing. . . If your girlfriend asks you to choose between her and your music, sell your instruments immediately - especially if you're a drummer. . . Finally, go easy on the supermodels, don't forget to tune, and remember: a tiny bit of dry ice and lasers goes a long way. Ditto with tattoos.

Girlfriend, Ice, Rock, Tattoo, Tune

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Pia Zadora

Fifteen years ago I knew I had to settle into being a mom and give them a normal life, which I never had. I was always traveling. I had tours. I wanted my kids to settle down, and we kind of did it together. . . . It was a bumpy transition. There was no director telling me what to do. No script, but I really enjoyed it. I even became president of the PTA. Doing the laundry was a meditative experience. Now, when I start to get nervous and stressed, I go in and start to fold towels.

Director, Fold, Give, Kids, Mom, Years

Bill Hybels

If you're living a yielded life, and if you have the preaching and teaching gift, and you're yielding that to God on a continual basis, that's one of the signs that you're in the right place doing the right thing for the right reasons. If you're doing something in the kingdom, and you rarely feel that, that's a red flag. Something needs to be looked at. Are you using the right gift? Are you using it in the right way? For the right reasons? At the right time? In the right context? If I didn't feel it consistently, that would be quite troubling to me.

Consistently, Context, Needs, Red Flags, Teaching, Way

Behdad Sami

Whether it's good talk or bad talk about me, as long as your talking and making me the center of your world, I win.

Bad, Long, Talking, Winning, World

Rodney Dangerfield

I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude, I didn't see the mouse trap.

Funny, Good Morning, Humor, Nude, Pushups, Trap

Richard Owen

The powers, aspirations, and mission of man are such as to raise the study of his origin and nature, inevitably and by the very necessity of the case, from the mere physiological to the psychological stage of scientific operations.

Men, Study, Psychological, Powers, Origin, Stage