There are certain people that you don't have to even work at extracting their inner life. It is just there and they're happy to share it with you.
There's no place on earth with more dumb girls per square foot than a college in California.
Every hundred feet the world changes
We all have to die a bit every now and then and usually it's so gradual that we end up more alive than ever. Infinitely old and infinitely alive.
But every single damn thing matters! Only we don't realize. We just tell ourselves that art runs on one track and life, our lives, on another, and we don't realize that's a lie.
I kept having dreams all night. I thought they were touching me with their fingers. But dreams don't have fingers, they have fists, so it must have been scorpions.
Coincidence obeys no laws and if it does we don't know what they are. Coincidence, if you'll permit me the simile, is like the manifestation of God at every moment on our planet. A senseless God making senseless gestures at his senseless creatures. In that hurricane, in that osseous implosion, we find communion.
My doctor said, 'If you can weigh what you weighed in high school, you'll essentially be healthy and not have Type 2 diabetes. ' Well, I'm gonna have Type 2 diabetes, because there is no way I can weigh as much as I did in high school.
Everybody all over the world takes a wife's estimate into account in forming an opinion of a man.
Martin Noakes is a British conspiracy theorist who also happens to be maybe the best songwriter in the world, in my opinion. His songs are beautiful. They're crazy. That 911 song. . . no song has ever gotten into my head more. And it's inappropriate. You can't just like walk around singing about "jet fuel doesn't melt steel. "
I don’t even have money for a cheeseburger!