It is only in the heart that anything really happens.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.
I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.
I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.
I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life. I'm pleased to say I've won.
[On children:] Being built closer to the floor, they can dust the baseboards in half the time.
Poetry is not a silent art. The poem must perform, unaided, in its reader's head. Educated readers give themselves a good performance. Educated listeners compare performance with text and with other performances. Good poets use the full resources of language.
There were never that many women stand-up comics in the past because the power to make people laugh is also a power that gets people upset.
Now c'mon - if we die, we die cool.