You know, I'm from the South, and I wasn't interested in perpetuating a stereotypical southern character.
Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.
My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.
I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody can have one, OK? I could have had three if I had gone through with any of my pregnancies.
Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey.
Just as bank tellers need a thorough knowledge of legitimate currency in order to spot counterfeit bills, so Christians need a thorough knowledge of the Bible in order to spot bogus religious teachings. How grounded are you in the Scriptures? How deep are your theological roots? How capable are you of detecting false teachings?
At first trouble is a new experience - gradually you learn that - that it isn't fatal.
Please don't ask which I enjoy more - acting or hosting - because I love them equally.