I feel a kinship with anyone who feels that their road, their life or who they really are is not good enough. I really relate to that.
If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes. " That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke thief," I just tell them to come to one of my shows.
What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, "Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars?" or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
I've been taught that love is beautiful and kind, but it isn't like that at all. It is beautiful, but it's a terrible beauty, a ruthless one, and you fall-you fall, and the thing is- The thing is you want to. You don't care what's coming you just want who your heart beats for.
The blest to-day is as completely so, As who began a thousand years ago.
Praised be the good willing women who understand and take part in the fun--the body is an exacting beater, and even the heart is made of flesh.
Life is atrocious, we know. But precisely because I expect little of the human condition, man's periods of felicity, his partial progress, his efforts to begin over again and continue, all seem to me like so many prodigies which nearly compensate for the monstrous mass of ills and defeats, of indifference and error. Catastrophe and ruin will come; disorder will triumph, but order will too, from time to time.