People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies.
I do what I do because I love it.
I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.
The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.
When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again. " Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).
Whenever I get down about life going by too quickly, what helps me is a little mantra that I repeat to myself: at least I'm not a fruit fly.
You might think that's an exaggeration but believe me, if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne.
To be sure, conservative radio talk show hosts have a built-in audience unavailable to liberals: People driving cars to some sort of job.
War makes strange giant creatures out of us little routine men who inhabit the earth.
Once they were librarians, but that is a subject they will only discuss if heavily intoxicated.
The gut-check message is do we have the right balance in our culture? Or are we in a position where hero worship and winning at all costs has subordinated our core values?