She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that … - Dave Barry

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Describing laughter: The sound is produced by a deep inspiration followed by short, interrupted, spasmodic contractions of the chest, and especially the diaphragm. . . the mouth is open more or less widely, with the corners drawn much backwards, as well as a little upwards; and the upper lip is somewhat raised.

Dave Barry

She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an appliance warranty through it in an unlit closet.

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Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

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Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth grade where you put a nail into a glass of Coke and after a couple of days the nail dissolves and the teacher says: Imagine what it does to your TEETH! So Coca-Cola was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to improve.

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Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter.

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A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

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Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

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