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I never thought I was a bad person. I just thought I was the one good person living in a world of bad people.

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Russell Baker

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.

Defeat, Goal, Inanimate, Inanimate Objects, Man, Men
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Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

Car, Efficiency, Funny, Say, Science

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.

Food, Funny Thanksgiving, Grandmother, Hiring, Watch, Work

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.

Funny, Know, Left, People, Pleasure, Sarcastic

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.

Clever, Fools, People, Possible, Two, Varieties

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

Couple, Grow, Home, Live, Tree, Yorker
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