I do not regret having braved public opinion, when I knew it was wrong and was sure it would be merciless.
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep. '.
May God our Lord never let me harm anyone when I cannot help him!
Your faith in Jesus Christ gives life enduring meaning. Remember you are on a journey to exaltation. Sometimes you have experiences that yield more happiness than others, but it all has purpose with the Lord.
People who work hard often work too hard. . . . May we learn to honor the hammock, the siesta, the nap and the pause in all its forms.
It is not only individuals peoples too cannot live merely for themselves. The whole world must be redeemed.