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Les Dawson Biography

Leslie Dawson Jr. (2 February 1931 – 10 June 1993) was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for his deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife.

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Les Dawson Quotes

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

Christmas, Mother, Round, Running, Seven, Year

In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought. . . I must put a roof on this toilet.

Heaven, Moon, Space, Tethered, Toilet, Watched

Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.

Fact, Facts, Feminist, Powerful, Say

I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.

Allowing, Bbc, Kids, Like, Thank, Wife

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

Funny Things, Meet, Tunnel, Tunnels, Wife, Woman

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

Ambition, Ambitions, Become, Practical, Practicals, Sex

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough. '

Funny, Help, Humorous, Mother, Saw, Six

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

Doctor, Doctors, Gave, Kite, Wind, Witty

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

Exercise, Law, Mother, Seven, Skipping

I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.

Doctor, Doctors, Sleep, Sleeping, Week, Wife

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

Down, Fell, Law, Mother, Oil

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

Law, Mother, Sex Maniac, Tell, Throw, Traps

I knew I'd chosen the wrong airline when I noticed the sick bag had the Lord's Prayer on it.

Airline, Bag, Chosen, Funny, Prayer, Travel

The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave. ’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.

Buried, Good, Mother, Said, Sea, Wife

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

Centre, Family, Law, Mother

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

Cancelled, Funeral, Law, Mother, Tomorrow

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Funny, Furniture, Hilarious, Life, Sell, Trouble

Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.

Door, Doors, Fellow, Ran, Wife, Years

I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

Affection, And Love, Giving, Love, Love Is, Rudderless

I know my name will always be linked with women.

Knows, Linked, Name, Names, Women

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Les Dawson Biography

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