Top David Spade Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

David Spade Biography

David Wayne Spade (born July 22, 1964) is an American actor, stand-up comedian, writer, and television personality. He rose to fame in the 1990s as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, then began a successful acting career in both film and television. He also starred and co-starred in the films Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, Grown Ups, and Grown Ups 2, among others.

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David Spade Quotes

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

Calculators, Fellow, Nerd, Nerdery, Retiring

Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

Opportunities, Opportunity, Want

The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

Excuses, Girl, Heartache, Hey, Penny, See

I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.

Kids, Movies, Shows, Tv Shows, Tvs

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

Chasing, Funny, Men, Women

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

Elements, Hopefully, Jokes, Surprise, Underlying

When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.

Fell, Kind, Stepfather, Tomorrow, Vulnerable

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

Cartoon, Dilbert, Like

I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.

Carefree, Guess, Lifestyle, Private, Wish

Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

Dirty, Kids, Look, Sexy, Years

I can see getting married and having a family, because it is the next thing on the agenda. You can only do this for so long. I'm old, and my friends all have kids. And I'm single, still blow drying my hair!

Blow, Hair, Kids, Long, Married

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.

Kind, Profit, Star, Stars, Turn

A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant.

Definitely, Drug, Friend, New York, Nicole, Ritchie

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

Flight, Like, Name, Names, Pilots, Plane

Seriously, you don't have to know English. It'd be nice, a nice little plus. We don't want miracles. You don't have to know the country's language. But just some shapes, that's all. A square. A little geometry.

Country, English, Geometry, Know, Nice, Squares

If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

Down And, Interesting, Start, Trying, Watered

How do you lay low but still do your job? Try to stay out there without being out there like Jenny McCarthy?

Jenny, Jobs, Like, Low, Stay, Trying

It's funny because it's funny.

Funny

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

Calling, Cat, Guy, Myspace, Touch

With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show.

Hook, Looking, Night, Stay, Way

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