When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could … - David Spade

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All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

David Spade

When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.

Fell, Kind, Stepfather, Tomorrow, Vulnerable

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There's always something funny about men chasing women.

Chasing, Funny, Men, Women

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

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You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

Dad, Drill, Five, Notes, Room, Rooms

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

Age, Gentleman, Rude, Unless, Weight

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

Flight, Like, Name, Names, Pilots, Plane

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Stephen Fry

First love is unrequited ultimately because it’s so huge. It’s such an act of giving and it requires so much back that it can never be given back. It’s like an atom bomb. It’s like… It’s all the energy of who you are and who you want to be and what you love and what you hope to be explodes. It is impossible for a single. . . human being to offer that back to you in a mutual way.

First Love, Giving, Human, Love Is, Ultimately

Ramakrishna

Common men talk bagfuls of religion but do not practise even a grain of it. The wise man speaks a little, even though his whole life is religion expressed in action.

Expressed, Littles, Men, Speaks, Talk, Wise

Rita Rudner

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

Afraid, Eyelash, Gun, Men, Sleep, Under

John Lennon

He didn't come out of my belly, but my God, I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I'm so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride.

Belly, Children, God, Ocean, Pride, Sleep

Ovid

As the yellow gold is tried in fire, so the faith of friendship must be seen in adversity.

Adversity, Commitment, Faith, Honesty, Tried, Yellow