Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Writers aren't like plumbers. If you're a plumber, you fix one person's boiler in the morning, then you go and fix another in the afternoon. I didn't want to write a book unless I had something new to say - and it was good to live a little in between.
Events are moving fast in my campaign, and yes, it's true that this morning I've dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will now be held by a man named 'Joe the Plumber. '
If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.
When we think of an actor, we think of a tanned, frosted-tipped, model-looking guy. We don't think of a plumber.
[To her frequently needed plumber:] How would you like to be adopted? I'm sure it would be cheaper.
My mom was a waitress, and my dad was a plumber who worked for the City of San Clemente fixing mains breaks, so not too glamorous.
A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.
There's no greater bliss in life than when the plumber eventually comes to unblock your drains. No writer can give that sort of pleasure.
The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.
You cannot live in Los Angeles for any period of time without eventually trying to write a screenplay. It's like a flu bug that you catch. . . Even the plumber has a screenplay in his truck.
There are two kinds of truth; the truth that lights the way and the truth that warms the heart. The first of these is science, and the second is art. Without art science would be as useless as a pair of high forceps in the hands of a plumber. Without science art would become a crude mess of folklore and emotional quackery.
If I had it [life] to do all over again, I'd have been a plumber.
If you're just going to meet consumer or clients' demands, you might as well be a plumber - the work will be more frequently available.
Remember that 'plumber in space' is not such a bad setup for a story.
I'm a professional actor. If I was a plumber, I wouldn't just do my plumbing in Beverly Hills bathrooms; I'd like to install air conditioning units and a few other things.
Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.
If I could do it all again, I'd be a plumber.
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? “I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open. ” The crowd cheers.
I’ve broken a cardinal rule of art, music, and career paths: actors are supposed to act, and musicians are supposed to music. That’s how it works. You don’t buy fish from a dentist, or ask a plumber for financial advice, so why listen to an actor’s music?