A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt. '
By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.
My dad was a bartender that worked banquets.
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
A theory that you can't explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.
I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was.
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
If I go before I'm old, Oh brother of mine please don't forget me if I go. Bartender please, fill my glass for me? With the wine you gave Jesus that set him free, after three days in the ground.
There's been times when I have actually had sex indoors. And then you kind of sober up a little when it's over. I become like a bartender at 2 AM. OK, people, let's move it out! Yeah, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.
Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.
I had a bartender friend once tell me about a $14. 00 shot of vodka, this was years ago it's probably more now. I thought that was crazy. From what I understand, vodka has no taste. I think people like the taste of their money.
Anyway, whacking a surly bartender ain't much of a crime.
Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?
I've had a lot of glamour come my way in the last 10 years - you know, movie stars and mansions and red carpets and trips to Europe and crazy stuff I never would have imagined - and I look at them as if I'm the bartender in the corner of the room. They've never gone into my psyche. I look at them with distance, and wonder.
You know you're in trouble, when the bartender cries.
I toured Ontario in the winter of '48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender.
If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows. -- Dancing Bear
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.
