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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.

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Henny Youngman

We aim to please. . . You aim too, please.

Aim, God, Please, Stupidity
Same Author Quotes

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Faults, Funny, Men, Think, Thinking

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

Divorced, Experts, House, Housekeeper, Keeps, Time

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. . . You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Forget, Know, Married, Way, Wife

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Back, Family, Funny, Inspirational, Took, Trip

The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.

Dinner, Littles, Usual, Way, Wine
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