When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
We aim to please. . . You aim too, please.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. . . You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.
Whoever realizes that the six senses aren't real, that the five aggregates are fictions, that no such things can be located anywhere in the body, understands the language of Buddhas.
My most persistent memory of stand - up is of my mouth being in the present and my mind being in the future: the mouth speaking the line, the body delivering the gesture, while the mind looks back, observing, analyzing, judging, worrying, and then deciding when and what to say next. Enjoyment while performing was rare - enjoyment would have been an indulgent loss of focus that comedy cannot afford.
Things that are real are given and received in Silence. God has been everlastingly working in Silence, unobserved, unheard, except by those who experience His Infinite Silence.
Only in the books written in earlier times did she sometimes think she found some faint idea of what it might be like to be alive.