Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. … - Anthony Jeselnik

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Quote of the day

Praying is no easy matter. It demands a relationship in which you allow someone other than yourself to enter into the very center of your person, to see there what you would rather leave in darkness, and to touch there what you would rather leave untouched.

Anthony Jeselnik

Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.

Brady, Remember You, Remembers You, Uppity, Wayne, Years

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.

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My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

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I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

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My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

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About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?

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