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See, if you look at the drug war from a purely economic point of view, the role of the government is to protect the drug cartel. That's literally true.

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Steven Wright

I took my dog for a walk. . . all the way from New York to Florida. . . I said to him "There now you're done. "

Dog, Done, Florida, New York, Said, Walk
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring. . . 'How to Build a Boat. '

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Cowboy, Follow, Funny, Humor, Models, Musicians

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. . . I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Birthday, Funny, Humor, Let, Same

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Daydream, Dream, Funny Inspirational, Kept, Love, Wandering
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