Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right … - Dave Attell - Quotesmemo.com

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I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing.

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Dave Attell

Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.

Behind You, Drunk, Hooded, Think, Thinking

Same Author Quotes

Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.

Championships, Frisbee, Funny, Morning, Sports, Yeah

I went skiing today, too, yeah. I didn't wanna go. The girl I'm stalking wanted to go, so. . . I'm not kiddin!

Girl, Skiing, Today, Wanna, Yeah

Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

Great Writers, Jesse, Joyce, Writer

She was drunk so I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.

Back, Drunk, Funny, Humor, Passed, Took

If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.

Call, Funny, Humor, Kids, Likes, Things

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To square the records, however, it should be said that if the Calvinist does not rise as high, he usually stays up longer. He places more emphasis on the Holy Scriptures which never change, while his opposite number (as the newspapers say) tends to judge his spiritual condition by the state of his feelings, which change constantly. This may be the reason that so many Calvinistic churches remain orthodox for centuries, at least in doctrine, while many churches of the Arminian persuasion often go liberal in one generation.

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I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing.

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