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In many cases, the very, very dishonest press doesn't want to report [terrorists attacks]. They have their reasons, and you understand that.

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David Letterman

Tim Tebow may be back in the NFL with the Philadelphia Eagles. As you remember, he was thrown out of the league when he landed his gyrocopter on the White House lawn.

Eagles, Gyrocopter, Nfl, Philadelphia, Thrown, White
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Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking. "

Destination, Driver, Funny, Hitchhiking, Humor, New York

George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.

Hardware, Mix, Next Week, Paint, Tonight, Watching

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Inspirational, People, Sharing, Strangers, Tires, Two

I mean you think about the guy, the Nigerian guy, who was going to blow up the plane. He was wearing a pair of Fruit of the Lunatic. . . . Guy was not too bright. He said that the reason he became a suicide bomber was to work his way up in the al Qaeda organization.

Mean, Nigerian, Organization, Suicide, Think, Thinking

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Business, Businesses, Like, Office Work, Several, Shows
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