Yes. I am one of the graduates of the William Morris famous, famous mail room from the '60s.
I think I'd make a pretty good president, and they have a great pension plan.
I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.
Censorship does not interfere with the constitutional rights of every American to sit alone in a dark room in the nude and cuss.
People come up to me in bars and on street corners and they say to me, 'Hey, Paulsen, have you got any change?'
Worrying about the future is a thing of the past. I don't think about it.
Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing.
So how's that hopey changey stuff working out for ya?
What is the best thing you can do in a close game? Drive to the basket and put pressure on the defense! Not jack up jump shots
I would have been a terrible mother because I'm basically a very selfish human being. Not that that has stopped most people going off and having children.
Budget cuts if you're not rich, tax cuts if you are. Less money for those who don't have any and more to those who do. That's how President Fredo says we're going to get out of the giant deficit hole he's dug. You can't put it any more simply. Rich people richer. Poor people poorer.