I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive. . . … - Rodney Dangerfield - Quotesmemo.com

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As Danand Ian over at the Lifestyle Business Podcast say: Rush to failure.

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Rodney Dangerfield

I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive. . . The refrigerator.

Alive, Jokes, Machine, Machines, Tell, Wife

Same Author Quotes

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Beauty, Crazy, Funny, Okay, Told

We learned sexual technique from our dog. He taught how to beg, and he taught my wife how to roll over and play dead.

Dead, Dog, Play, Roll, Wife

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Finger, Know, Mouths, Sticks, Ugly

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Funny, Kid, Moved, Moving, Parents, Pregnancy

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

Cook, Dental Floss, Floss, Kitchen, Roaches, Wife

Similar Quotes

Ray Dalio

When there is pain, the animal instinct is 'fight or flight' (i. e. , to either strike back or run away) - reflect instead. When you can calm yourself down, thinking about the dilemma that is causing you pain will bring you to a higher level and enlighten you, leading to progress.

Calm, Causing, Life, Pain, Run, Running

Imogen Cunningham

Imogen Cunningham

Everybody who does anything for the public can be criticized. There's always someone who doesn't like it.

Artist, Criticized, Doe, Everybody, Like, Public

Joseph Campbell

Joseph Campbell

I think that Jean Houston has broken through to a new understanding of the sense and uses of inward-turned contemplation-a n understanding that leaves the Freudian schools of technique and theory far behind. The accent is not on the curing of disease but on the enlargement, rather, of our health.

School, Thinking, Broken, Houston, Leaves, Understanding

Thomas A. Edison

Thomas A. Edison

As Danand Ian over at the Lifestyle Business Podcast say: Rush to failure.

Business, Ian, Lifestyle, Podcast, Say

Jonathan Safran Foer

Jonathan Safran Foer

In the past seven years of love-making he had heard the words "I love you" so many times: from the mouths of widows and children, from prostitutes, family friends, travelers, and adulterous wives. Women said "I love you" without his ever speaking. "The more you love someone," he came to think, "the harder it is to tell them. " It surprised him that strangers didn't stop each other on the street to say "I love you".

Children, Love, Love You, Stop, Thinking