There's another kind of poverty that only rich men know, a moral malnutrition that starves their very souls.
I cant sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. Im shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!
I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.
I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.
You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.
Part of growing up is not waiting in line at a hipster breakfast restaurant. The eggs taste the same across the street. I promise.
Look, it's to the point where kids are getting Botox. It's insane. We're not allowed to age
It may be old hat, but I see no reason to close off what is for me a fruitful subject of inquiry, especially so for one, like me, who is very much interested in creating stories and novels of ideas.
I've done things that can be made fun of. It's not such a bad thing. If I'm going to end up a role model, then I'd rather not end up being the kind of role model that pretends to be perfect, and pretends that she always has the right thing to say. I'm a product of role models that didn't make me feel like I was as good as them.