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Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own [will], is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

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Ryan Stiles

We're expecting a lot of rain in the state of Oregon, so let's just get rid of Oregon.

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If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

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I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

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I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

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You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

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When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

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