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. . . a tale of too many cooks in the defence.

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Chic Murray

My sister wanted a cat for a pet. . . I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

Bark, Dog, Funny, Humor, Pet, Sister
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After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.

Black, Funny, Humor, Told, Wife

She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

Classy, Funny, Girl, Tattoo, Though

The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

Boat, Egg, Eggs, Funny, Humor, Long

So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it. "

Break, Fall, Funny, Lying, Matter

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

Funny, Humor, Japanese, Parent, Parents, Understood
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