If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
I think boxers are the greatest athletes in all sports for the simple fact that they don't cry. That is mind-blowing. Have you ever been punched in the nose? Oh my gosh, it hurts so bad. They have to go back to corner, where some little man yells at them. 'Shut up, I just got punched in the face!'. . . If I was a boxer, do you know who I would hire as my corner man? My mom.
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.
No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful. '
This generation is different. They are not as interested in chasing money or material possessions. I believe that this generation is more interested in seeking social change and a more just society than any generation since those that brought about the civil rights movement and the struggles for human dignity of the 1960s.
He's always been absolutely gorgeous and had that charm, but he was in a steady relationship until quite recently, so it's only of late that all the girls are like, 'Oh my God, oh my God'.
Sometimes going in for a hard tackle generates a louder cheer than a great pass.
Scuba diving, from the beginning, had an air of dangerous allure. Every landlocked schoolboy knew of its intriguing hazards: the bends, which caused a diver's veins to fizz with carbonated blood until he died a ghastly, percolating death; and rapture of the deep, which took away his reason, filled his heart with false contentment, and drew him down into the ocean gloom.