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Do you share my belief in Swami Vivekananda's dream that India will be a Jagad Guru once again? I see no reason for India to be left behind.

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David Letterman

There's a rumor that President George Bush had a nose job, that he had some kind of plastic surgery, that he actually had a nose job. If this is true, that's the first new job he's created since taking office.

Actually, Jobs, Office, Rumor, Surgery, Taking
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Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking. "

Destination, Driver, Funny, Hitchhiking, Humor, New York

George Clooney is on the program tonight. Next week at this time I will be in a hardware store watching them mix paint.

Hardware, Mix, Next Week, Paint, Tonight, Watching

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Inspirational, People, Sharing, Strangers, Tires, Two

I mean you think about the guy, the Nigerian guy, who was going to blow up the plane. He was wearing a pair of Fruit of the Lunatic. . . . Guy was not too bright. He said that the reason he became a suicide bomber was to work his way up in the al Qaeda organization.

Mean, Nigerian, Organization, Suicide, Think, Thinking

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Business, Businesses, Like, Office Work, Several, Shows
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