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The struggle to excavate your true, authentic self from beneath the mountain of conditioning and ridiculous expectation is the epic struggle of your lifetime.

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Norm MacDonald

A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.

Commit, Disposition, Excuse, Faults, Shows
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They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

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I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

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I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

Intelligent, Men, Thankful, Think, Thinking
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