I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there … - Lewis Black

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I'm so opposite of my profession. No one - particularly my mother and father - ever thought I was going to be a boxer because I always felt that football and baseball were too dangerous. I was just such a quiet kid.

Lewis Black

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.

Across, Father, Golf, Kids, Worked

Same Author Quotes

Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem. . .

Country, Crazy, Presidents, Smart, Solid, Stupid

The only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. It usually goes something like this. A Republican will stand up in Congress and say, 'I've got a really bad idea. ' And a Democrat will immediately jump to his feet and declare, 'And I can make it sh*ttier. '

Ideas, Make, Party, Republican, Two, Usually

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

Actually, Crazy, May, Start, Thinking

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

Coffee, Giving, Illusion, Like, Might

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

Convince, Groups, Leader, Leaders, People, Piss