Washington is dangerously positioned between two Canadas, Canada Canada and California's Canada, Oregon.
I'm the person who says every single thing she thinks, sometimes to others' amusement, and almost always to my detriment.
The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25? I do. Gravity is no one's friend. Yet the perspective I've gained is so worth the wear and tear. What would have mortified me at 25 is now simply fodder for a funny, relatable story. Also? I was a waitress at 25, and now I'm an author. Forty-five is definitely better.
I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may come off like a stark raving asshat, being funny is the most important tool I have to stay sane. The ability to say what I think is the key to allowing me to feel in control.
No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chicks who'll break out the sangria just because you need to vent.
Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.
I never saw a discontented tree.
Literature is the history of the soul.
Anger must be the energy that has not yet found its fight channel.
A wedding isn't for the bride and groom, it's for the family and friends. The B. and G. are just props, silly stick figures with no more significance than the pink and white candy figures on the top of the cake.