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Zeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow.

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Michael Showalter

In my perfect world order, it is cold all the time. Everyone wears sweaters and drinks coffee. People don't speak to each other; they read the newspaper. There is no loud music, and cats are in charge.

Cat, Coffee, Order, Speak, Sweaters, Time
Same Author Quotes

Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

Car, Classical, Comedy, Maybe, Tree

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Comedy, Different, Like, Trying, Types

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Behavior, Cat, Time, Unpredictable, Window

I feel like marriage is a sacred institution that should only be between a man and a woman. If a gay couple wants to be married, why can't they just be satisfied with a civil union? Why do they have to get "married"?

Couple, Gay, Like, Marriage, Men

I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke completely at someone else's expense. Even though I think he does it better than anyone else, I don't love. . . Well, it's different with Sacha Baron Cohen, but that whole thing where you're "punking" people? I don't like that. I don't like doing it, and I don't particularly find it funny when the joke is on a person who doesn't know they're being set up.

Different, Making, Particularly, People, Sacha, Thinking
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