The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!
When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
It is easy to sit up and take notice, What is difficult is getting up and taking action.
If we all said to people's faces what we say behind one another's backs, society would be impossible.
Though the human heart may have to pause for rest when climbing the heights of affection it rarely stops on the slippery slope of hatred.
When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.
Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.
I don’t read Scripture and cling to no life precepts, except perhaps to Walter Cronkite’s rules for old men, which he did not deliver over the air: Never trust a fart. Never pass up a drink. Never ignore an erection.
My words are the garment of what I shall never be Like the tucked sleeve of a one-armed boy.
Somemenare bornkings; and someare bornstatesmen. The two are seldom the same.
Some people are born with a vital and responsive energy. It not only enables them to keep abreast of the times; it qualifies them to furnish in their own personality a good bit of the motive power to the mad pace.