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Kisses kept are wasted; Love is to be tasted. There are some you love, I know; Be not loathe to tell them so. Lips go dry and eyes grow wet Waiting to be warmly met. Keep them not in waiting yet; Kisses kept are wasted.

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Frankie Boyle

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"?

Call, Funny, Humor, Mate, Primate, White
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Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

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RyanAir have been getting a hard time because they've launched a £7 flight to New York. Although as always with RyanAir it does land slightly outside of New York. In Dublin.

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I think that should be the anti - speeding advert it should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.

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It turns out your not dyslexic, your just really really stupid.

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When I heard Cristiano Ronaldo was pictured holding a manbag, I was surprised it was a gucci bag and not another guy's sack.

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