Top Frankie Boyle Quotes - Quotesmemo.com

Frankie Boyle Biography

Francis Martin Patrick "Frankie" Boyle (born 16 August 1972) is a Scottish comedian and writer, well known for his pessimistic and often controversial sense of humour.

Read about Frankie Boyle in Wikipedia

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Frankie Boyle Quotes

Congratulations you're 18!. . . On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.

Congratulations, Funny, Humor, Kill, People

Two negatives make a positive but only in Scotland do two positives make a negative: aye right.

Negatives Make, Positive, Right, Scotland, Two

Bisexuals are really attracted to senior Lib Dems - as they are both a man and a great big pussy.

Man, Men, Pussy, Senior

It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to work out which gunshot is the starting pistol.

Athlete, Athletes, East, Funny, Good, Mean

The owners of a dog which swallowed a diamond worth £12000 had to wait three days until it re-emerged. With a bit of planning it could have been a nice way to propose.

Days, Dog, Funny, Nice, Wait

I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.

Funny, Humor, Sound, Surround Sound, Women, Woofer

I want to trace my father, could you suggest a good marker pen?

Father, Marker, Markers, Suggest, Trace, Want

Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.

Black, Black And White, Funny, Humor, Think, White

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

Funny, George, Humor, Thinking, Tony, Weight

Don't you think its quite weird for Prince Harry, getting really stoned and seeing your grans face appearing on your money.

Funny, Harry, Humor, Prince, Seeing, Thinking

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

Cling, Funny, Humor, Onto, Teenage

Apparently they're going to bring in Super Asbos. But Asbos already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them Gaybos or Bender Badges.

Call, Funny, Gaybos, Honour, Humor, Teenager

Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.

America, Country, Make, Soldiers, Years

I don't know how long i could be a vet before i got bored and started shagging stuff.

Bored, Funny, Humor, Know, Long, Stuff

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

Education, Funny, Mainly, School, Sex, Warnings

I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?

Bed, Count, Funny, Humor, Technically, Woman

Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents. . Gaywatch.

Funny, Humor, Night, Oddie, Presents

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9
11.

Died, Funny, Humor, Long, Question, Thinking

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!

Ejaculation, Funny, Humor, People, Wake

I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.

Brightest, Comedy, Funny, Humor, Year, Years

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Frankie Boyle Biography

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