Note to self: It's hard to attain a state of no-mind when you're incredibly pumped up on tea … - Jordan Sonnenblick

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Everybody wants to be a better version of themselves - everybody. And I hope one day I can lose some weight. Maybe, who knows, I'll hire myself a trainer and a fancy cook. In five years, maybe I'll be an action hero. Then again, maybe I'll just be this guy. Who knows? But the fun part is embracing the human side of that.

Jordan Sonnenblick

Note to self: It's hard to attain a state of no-mind when you're incredibly pumped up on tea and sugar and have to urinate every three and a half minutes.

Attain, Incredibly, Mind, Self, State, Tea

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I tucked him in with his stuffed-animal pet dog—cleverly named Dog-Dog, by the way.

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Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls

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And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

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Hi, Tad!' she said. 'Hi, Jeff! Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?' 'Uh, no,' I said. 'We were just. . . I mean, Tad was. . . uh, nope. ' 'So what were you guys talking about?' 'Well,' I said, 'it's very complicated. We were discussing. . . umm. . . hats. You know, hats. Like, the head kind. ' 'There's another kind?' Lindsey asked. 'Hey, Jeff?' Tad said. 'If your mom needs any evidence to prove that you're retarded, let me know. I'd be glad to record you talking to Lindsey. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick.

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Did you really JUST fall, Jeffrey? Why does everybody in my family talk in these dramatic CAPITAL LETTERS all the time? Why am I the only calm one?

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