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When I was in kindergarten, I entered a competition and read 52 books in a week.

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Michael Showalter

For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

Bridges, Brooklyn Bridge, Culture, Mean, Stuck, Traffic
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Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

Car, Classical, Comedy, Maybe, Tree

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Comedy, Different, Like, Trying, Types

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Behavior, Cat, Time, Unpredictable, Window

I feel like marriage is a sacred institution that should only be between a man and a woman. If a gay couple wants to be married, why can't they just be satisfied with a civil union? Why do they have to get "married"?

Couple, Gay, Like, Marriage, Men

I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke completely at someone else's expense. Even though I think he does it better than anyone else, I don't love. . . Well, it's different with Sacha Baron Cohen, but that whole thing where you're "punking" people? I don't like that. I don't like doing it, and I don't particularly find it funny when the joke is on a person who doesn't know they're being set up.

Different, Making, Particularly, People, Sacha, Thinking
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