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Given the choice, children who don't want for anything will not save. . . We have an obligation as parents to give our children what they need. What they want we can give them as a special gift, or they can save their money for it.

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W. C. Fields

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

Beautiful, Drink, Drinking, Love, Wine
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

Alcohol, Gambling, Half, Money, Women

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

Case, Clever, Flagon, Funny, Small, Witty

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Circumstances, Inspirational, Money, Motivational, Say, Skill

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Age, Away, Funny, Preservatives, Witty

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Funny, Goodness, Like, Sex, Things
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