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To me, reading a fashion magazine is the last thing I need to do. I've got books I need to read.

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Robert Benchley

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite. . . Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

Nature, Golf, Eggs, Round, Large
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The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Men, Paid, Piece, Pieces, Writer, Writing

This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as "regulations" but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.

Modern Life, Night, Office, Regulations, Series, Table

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

Amount, Funny, Moment, Procrastination, Provided, Work

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Airplane, America, Children, Classes, Travel

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Analyzing, Defining, Humor, People, Work
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